Tale of two lovers

Love rests on two pillars:  surrender and autonomy.  Our need for togetherness exists alongside our need for separateness.  One does not exist without the other.  With too much distance, there can be no connection.  But too muchy merging eradicates the separateness of two distinct individuals.  Then there is nothing more to transcend, no bridge to walk on, no one to visit on the other side, no other internal world to enter.  When people become fused--when two become one--connection can no longer happen.  There is no one to connect with.        

--exerpt from Esther Perel's book, "Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence".

 I love this book and Perel's message regarding connection.  We have to find the balance between togetherness and separateness in our erotic relationship, in order for sexual desire to be realized.  It's hard to look at your partner as a lover when you are merged in a way that is unhealthy, or when you are too distant.  Both extremes take away from the enigma of seduction and desire.  What does your erotic relationship need to be more exciting?  Do you need to be more connected with each other or take some healthy breaks now and then?  Click here to read more from Mating In Captivity.