Date Nights At Home When You Can't Go Out

One thing I often tell couples in my practice is to do frequent date nights. In this season of Coronavirus, it is even more important to find fun things to do when we are stuck at home. I've thought of some fun ideas to do together, but be sure to plan it well and make it an intentional date. Don't let being holed up in the house prevent you from connecting with your partner!

-Make a dinner of finger foods and feed each other, setting the stage with candles and music. Throw a blanket on the floor and eat picnic style or grab some blankets and sit by an outdoor firepit.

-Act out a video of the history of your relationship--complete with the music of the times, costume changes and props. You could even make it a romantic comedy! Feel free to embellish details! You can end by making out in the back seat of the car!

-Step up a movie night by setting up a fancy candlelight meal, adding special touches to the room and sending a fancy invitation to your partner. Dress up for the event, perhaps taking clothing cues from the movie you are watching.

-Create your own private dance floor, decorating with flowers, candles, a string of lights, or even a disco ball! Make a playlist of your favorite songs, get dressed for the occasion, and dance the night away!

-Get a large piece of paper and paints, markers, charcoal--whatever you have available, and see what you can create together. You may pick a theme or go totally abstract. What a way to show what fun you had when the world outside seemed to be a little crazy...

-Plan a great dinner and watch a video of your special day, if you have had a wedding. Reminisce about people who were there, remembering the quirky things that happened that day.

-Have a retro date at home. Choose a decade, and plan your date around it. Dress up in the outfits of the day, creating the fabulous hairstyles that were popular. Stream a popular movie or TV series of that era and eat foods specific to that time. Make up a pop culture quiz for that time by doing a little internet research. Be sure and take lots of pictures!!

Sex Smart Finding Our Sexual Voice

August 5, 2019  7-9pm at Best Of Luck Beer Hall

Join us for a candid conversation about female sexuality. The discussion and activities will be centered around empowering women to value sexual desire, pleasure, and sexual satisfaction and becoming intimate allies with our partners. We will be considering our own sexual stories and what our sexual voice means to each of us. Come casual and bring your girlfriends! Any amount of participation is encouraged...just listening or being part of the discussion. The event is at Best of Luck Beer Hall. The beer hall will be closed, so no food will be served. Drinks will be available for purchase.

There will be a $5.00 cover charge… Grab your girlfriends and head to Best of Luck for an evening of friends, drinks, and candid conversations about sex!

For more details, find “Sex Smart of Springfield, MO” on Facebook or contact me at: drgholczer@gmail.com.

Dr. Ginger Holczer is the co-author of “Finding and Revealing Your Sexual Self: A Guide to Communicating About Sex”.  As an AASECT-certified sex therapist, she has over 10 years of therapy experience and has taught human sexuality on a college level. She speaks regularly at universities, national conferences, local organizations and groups.

SEX SMART EVENT!!!

SEX SMART

  Sex Ed for Women with Dr. Ginger Holczer

April 29, 2019  7-9pm at Best of Luck Beer Hall

 How did you learn about sex? Most of us sat through an embarrassing health class that focused on reproduction and abstinence. When we became sexually active, we were just supposed to “know” how to have a successful sex life. This Sex Smart event is designed to learn how our bodies respond, sexual wellbeing, and dispelling sexual myths in a comfortable, safe, sex-positive environment for women.

There will be a $5.00 cover charge for this event and wine will be available for purchase. Grab your girlfriends and head to Best of Luck for an evening of friends, wine, and candid conversations about sex!

For more details, find “Sex Smart of Springfield, MO” on Facebook or contact me at: drgholczer@gmail.com.

Dr. Ginger Holczer is the co-author of “Finding and Revealing Your Sexual Self: A Guide to Communicating About Sex”.  As an AASECT-certified sex therapist, she has over 10 years of therapy experience and has taught human sexuality on a college level. She speaks regularly at universities, national conferences, local organizations and groups.

over and over again...

Rumination.  The thoughts go round and round in your head, ad nauseam.  Ever experience this?  It seems that for those who do this, not only do the thoughts go around, but they spiral down to a really negative place.  You start by thinking about a conversation you had or some behavior you enacted, and before you know it you are beating yourself up mercilessly for something you said or did.  The process can keep you up at night or prevent you from being productive and moving into solution mode.  How do you get out of this hamster wheel?  

1.  Try being mindful.  When you are ruminating, you are generally thinking about the past or stressing about the future.  Being in the moment can be calming and put a wrench in this process.  Try paying attention to your senses--notice what you are hearing, seeing, smelling, tasting, touching.  This moves you into the present and out of that crazy-making cycle.

2.  Instead of going over and over whatever is bothering you, ask yourself clarifying questions.  What can you learn from the situation?  Do you need to take some action?  

3.  Often, this kind of thinking can be somewhat irrational.  Is there really a problem or is it old baggage coming back to haunt you?  If you can rule that out baggage, come up with a solution instead of going around and around.  

Ruminating is not productive or helpful.  You may need to simply tell yourself "STOP," so you can move on to thoughts that are more deserving of your attention.  Get off the circular hamster wheel and jump on the path to move forward--instead of round and round!

What do you want to get out of therapy?

 A friend posted this article on a social media site http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-12369/want-to-get-the-most-out-of-therapy-avoid-these-5-mistakes.html.  It is an excellent review of what therapy is and isn't--as well as how to get the most out of the therapy experience.  Check it out!