For an appointment:

Ginger Holczer, PsyD






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What?! You don't like me?

We all come across people who just don't seem to like us.  Generally, we tend to take it personal and see it as a fault of ourselves, rather than considering that it could be a product of the other person's individual filter or limited perception.  What that means is that the other person has an idea based on their own experiences--and our tendency is to interpret based on that experience.  For instance, we may remind someone of their abusive father, the kid in elementary school that they fought with all the time, or the ex-spouse who never stood up for them.  The point is, it may have absolutely nothing to do with us!

We all want to be liked and if we aren't liked by someone else we can easily get bogged down in feeling bad.  What can we do instead of taking on someone else's projection of us?  Try just accepting that we all have different perspectives, opinions, and interpretations.  When we give others the freedom of acceptance, we can access it for ourselves, letting go of the idea of needing approval so we can spend more of our emotional energy in more positive directions.  This way, we can handle the situation with the spirit of integrity and honoring ourselves.



Come check out this workshop opportunity I am facilitating at Aerosha this weekend~

Every woman has a sex goddess inside, but as women, most of us do not even come close to realizing our sexual potential. We are taught from a young age that sex is for men and "good girls don't...." As a result, women are labeled as lacking sexual desire and we don't realize how much opportunity for pleasure, intimacy, and personal power is lost.  Come and learn how to reconnect to feminine desire, love your body, enjoy sexuality, and communicate your needs. Own the lusciousness and sexual desire you deserve! This class is held in sacred space with no explicit behavior in the class.  Dress in comfortable clothing, we will begin this session with a gentle warmup.  Includes snack and beverage.  All Women Welcome. Pay in advance $55; Pay upon arrival $65.   Register by following the link:



I am thankful to the brave people who share their lives and stories with me.  It is an honor to be allowed to witness the pain, joy, and healing that goes along with becoming vulnerable with another person.  I am honored and humbled...


Unleashing your sex goddess

Being sexual is a vital part of who we are as women, but life gets in the way.  Kids, job, dirty dishes, bills, illness--the list goes on and on.  When the last thing on the list is sex, how do we get our "sexy back" and unleash the sex goddess that has been on hiatus?

  • Make a conscious effort to think about sex during the day.  What turns you on?  Women tend to be in a neutral place when it comes to sex, so bringing the idea of sex into consciousness can help the sex goddess come more to the forefront than always being on the back burner.
  • Create ritual. Remember when you were early in the throes of a new relationship?  Ritual was important. We were painstaking about getting ready to see our beloved--adorning our bodies, making the space we will meet in to be cozy and pleasing--such as candlelight, music, incense, particular foods that we enjoy. This was all done with the idea of pleasing ourselves and our partners.  Find a ritual that is meaningful. Be creative in the space--spray your linens with scent, put flowers around the bed, soften the lighting in the room, set the stage for sensual pleasure.
  • Flirt!  Remember what it was like to tease your partner?  A sexy note placed in a pocket, a text that says exactly what you plan to do to your partner's body when you get home, or maybe a lingering kiss on your way out in the morning that implies there is more to come...
  • Schedule a sex date.  As much as we want to be spontaneous, it rarely occurs if we wait around for that moment to happen.  Planning a liaison can give us something to anticipate and get us in the mood, much like dates when we were first getting together.  Spontaneous can be fun, but a well-thought out sex date can be HOT!

So, let the sex goddess out of the back of the closet and make her a priority.  Sexuality is an important part of who we are and a vital part of our own self-expression!




One thing we can count on in our lives: Change is inevitable.

A little over a year ago, something happened in my own life that made me take notice of that statement.  I realized how quickly, even in a matter of seconds, that life can change or take a different direction.  Sometimes, we get so comfortable in the life we are living, good or not so good, that we continue to keep doing the same things.  Even if it's not working out well, we know it, we know what to do with it--like a comfortable, old sweater.

When I considered the title to this blog, the song by David Bowie, "Changes," kept coming to my mind, so I typed it in.  After looking at it, I realized that the way David Bowie sings it has a ring of truth--it's the hesitant way of trying to get the word out, ch-ch-changes.  It reminds me how much we fight change, barely able to get the word out of our mouths, so to speak.

Change is uncomfortable.  What we have always done brings a sense of comfort, despite the fact that it may be a dysfunctional way of behaving.  The old way is familiar and we know how to act, even if it causes us a lot of distress.  We all do it at times--we continue to do the same things over and over again even though we know it is destructive and unhealthy, either emotionally, socially, or physically, depending on the behavior.

Life never remains the same.  Once we accept that life is going to have bumps and turns and potholes, we can begin to let go of our "normal" way of handling life and move on to rolling with the obstacles and being more creative in the way we navigate through life stages.  Think about life stages--the way we are in our teens, moving through a career, ups and downs with our partner, aging, illness--I could go on and on.  We can not expect that the same way we handled our lives in one stage is still appropriate for any new stage we are embarking on now.  

So, in the words of David Bowie: "Turn and face the strange."  Change is scary and feels uncomfortable, but one thing to remember:  you will get past this point, it is temporary.  So go ahead, give change a try, but go easy on yourself.  If you fall back into old behaviors, accept that it happened and then try again!  Don’t let setbacks end all your efforts.  It will be worth it in the end.

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.  – Maya Angelou