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Tuesday
Jan242012

Choosing Hope

“We are not what happened to us, 
we are what we wish to become.” 
― C.G. Jung

Sometimes we hang on to the past with a vengeance.  Past traumas can haunt us, making it difficult to be "in the moment"--instead, we define ourselves by the trauma that we suffered.  Through this negative definition of ourselves, we take any new experience and send it down that same, well-worn path, never even considering there may be a new path to take.  

Sometimes, the people in our past treated us badly and we end up letting their skewed view of the world color the way we percieve ourselves.  For instance, if a person felt unloved by a parent as a child, the child may grow up to feel inherently unlovable.  What about the possibility that the parent was unable to love?  We have to look at the evidence and throw out the unreliable information that came from an unreliable person, which we allow to shape us in a negative fashion.  

Regret becomes self-defeating if we let it consume us.  When it comes to past trauma, we regret what was done to us, or maybe we regret what we didn't experience.  Regret can be a sad, gentle longing which prompts us to move forward, but in order for it to be positive we have to examine our regret and then discard it.  Painful regret can easily become a place where we live, instead of a potential for learning.

Working through the emotions that keep us chained to the past is the key.  If we keep reliving them, we are bound to the trauma.  Choose hope for the future over being scarred from the past.  

If you need a therapist to help you move past trauma, call us today.

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