Discovering the Beautiful You
Have you ever found yourself thinking about how your body looks while you are having sex? According to research, when women are having sex, we are thinking about everything under the sun, including what our bottoms look like in that position, or if we have saggy breasts, or, heaven forbid, that roll around the middle that we are sure is way too obvious if the lights are on. Instead of stressing about the things you can’t change right this minute, toss caution to the wind and enjoy the moment! Your partner will be in awe of this confident, sexy minx that just pounced on the pillow.
- Do things that make you feel sexy. For some women “sexy” might be just after a shower, the scent of a favorite candle, the feel of your naked body on a freshly made bed, or a piece of silky lingerie. Play “mood music” that moves you and appeals to your sexy self.
- Embrace your appearance! Focus on the things you like about yourself and play them up. Worrying about what you don’t like tends to cause you to neglect the fabulous, positive aspects of yourself. If you feel like you have great legs, try showing them off a little more. This puts the attention on the parts you find attractive about yourself. Remember that even though you magnify the things you don’t like so much, other people probably don’t see those things the way you do.
- Get some attitude! Being sexy isn’t all about the body—when you feel good about yourself; other people feel good being with you. Show others the positive side of yourself and try not to be so concerned about the flaws. People see what you allow them to see, so if you focus on your great traits, so will they!
- Be mindful. Mindfulness is the practice of being in the moment, paying attention to sensations and letting go of judgment. Pay attention to the way you are being touched, what is the pressure like on your skin? Notice the smells in the room—the smell of your partner. Look at your partner and notice the curve of the nose, the shape of the lips. Taste your partner’s skin, notice that sensation. When thoughts happen in, calling attention to the negative aspects of ourselves during this time, simply notice them and get back to the sensations.
No one is harder on us than we are on ourselves. It’s time to put aside the self-condemnation and enjoy ourselves and our bodies. Give it a go!
Article originally appeared on Ginger Holczer, PsyD (http://growyourpath.com/).
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