Whether you liked the books or not, one thing that Fifty Shades Of Grey did was to get women thinking more about sex. Even if BDSM isn't your cup of tea, I would encourage you to think about what it is that does turn you on and rev you up! We all have different wants and needs, so rather than taking on whatever the "self-help book of the week" tells you it is that women like, let's talk about what you like.
As women, sometimes our sexual needs get lost in the day-to-day grind of family, job, and other obligations. When was the last time you allowed yourself a moment to let your mind wander to the erotic? What do you fantasize about when you do allow yourself that pleasure? When it comes to fantasy, some fantasies are fair game to talk about and act out; while other fantasies are fun and titillilating, they stay in the realms of the imagination--for whatever reason.
Give yourself permission to spend some alone time--and think about what fantasies get you thinking about pleasure! If you are having trouble getting started, there are some great books out there that can help point you in a great direction--I like the books by Nancy Friday. They have been around awhile, but are tried and true. Her books give a sampling of what women fantasize about, and the topics are many! So, give it a go--dream away!