Ginger Holczer, PsyD

Being sexual is a vital part of who we are as women, but life gets in the way. Kids, job, dirty dishes, bills, illness--the list goes on and on. When the last thing on the list is sex, how do we get our "sexy back" and unleash the sex goddess that has been on hiatus?

Make a conscious effort to think about sex during the day. What turns you on? Women tend to be in a neutral place when it comes to sex, so bringing the idea of sex into consciousness can help the sex goddess come more to the forefront than always being on the back burner.
Create ritual. Remember when you were early in the throes of a new relationship? Ritual was important. We were painstaking about getting ready to see our beloved--adorning our bodies, making the space we will meet in to be cozy and pleasing--such as candlelight, music, incense, particular foods that we enjoy. This was all done with the idea of pleasing ourselves and our partners. Find a ritual that is meaningful. Be creative in the space--spray your linens with scent, put flowers around the bed, soften the lighting in the room, set the stage for sensual pleasure.
Flirt! Remember what it was like to tease your partner? A sexy note placed in a pocket, a text that says exactly what you plan to do to your partner's body when you get home, or maybe a lingering kiss on your way out in the morning that implies there is more to come...
Schedule a sex date. As much as we want to be spontaneous, it rarely occurs if we wait around for that moment to happen. Planning a liaison can give us something to anticipate and get us in the mood, much like dates when we were first getting together. Spontaneous can be fun, but a well-thought out sex date can be HOT!

So, let the sex goddess out of the back of the closet and make her a priority. Sexuality is an important part of who we are and a vital part of our own self-expression!